How roommates are similar to the police, or at least citizen’s arrest
As the resident Boston blogger, I feel obligated to address the slap in the face we received in the form of a basketball loss by our locally-marketed corporate entity, the Celtics. But obligations… well, let’s just say I’ve ignored them before. So this will be an entry about cleaning up your house.
My roommates don’t know we have a dishwasher, apparently, because I waited until it was full and ran it myself, and in sorting the dishes, I found the glasses to be 90% wine-shaped, and the plates to be ones I remembered eating off of personally. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing dishes. It’s why I got a restaurant job. It’s why I’m an English major.
There’s this really great song, “Jesus Does the Dishes,” by this really great band/single person called Wingnut Dishwasher’s Union, which you can watch by “clicking” this “hyperlink:” xxx. It’s about doing the dishes, and Jesus.
But, really, it’s about personal responsibility. You can pay attention when the man in the video sings the second verse if you want to know what I’m talking about here. Living with roommates gives you a lot of opportunities to be pissed off about quirks, uncleanliness, and annoying sleep schedules, but it also gives you a lot of opportunities to do the pissing off. And living in society is like having a lot of roommates you don’t see very often. They’ll notice what you do, even if they don’t necessarily know you did it. Crimes, in other words, and being a ruthless anarcho-capitalist, and puking on the T (kid who puked on the T today, I’m looking at you) are all the society-level examples of not doing your own dishes.
Basically, if you clean up after yourself, you won’t be pissing your roommates off as much as if you left your white-Russian-caked lowballs out for morning. If you do your own dishes, your presence stands a much lower chance of being resented. Same as if you don’t longboard through red lights, puke on the T, or steal my bicycle out of my front yard. So if you value peace, quiet, and not being pissed off by things other people can do, don’t puke on the T. I mean, do your dishes. Be a decent person. Please? Oh my god, I think I just rephrased the Golden Rule in 400 words.